TRANSCRIPT

Freefall presents: Stick figure Project Hail Mary
Square: We've got a problem. Astrophage is growing in our solar system! It will soon block out ten percent of our sunlight!
Circle: Human extinction event! We've got to stop it!
Square: There's one star in the infection area that isn't being dimmed by astrophage.
Circle: Astrophage can store a crazy amount of energy. We'll build an astrophage powered space ship, go to that star, and find a cure!
Triangle: STOP!
Triangle: We're being given a free solar collection Dyson swarm! We don't even have to build it! We don't want to cure this!
Circle: It's attracted to CO2. We can amplify Earth's signature.
Square: Build simple space ships with light traps and put them in the Sun to Venus migration route!
Triangle: Astrophage all charged up from the Sun and ready to use!
Square: What about the whole ten percent dimming and human extinction thing?
Circle: Greenhouses! Indoor agriculture!
Triangle: Giant space mirrors!
Square: Do you know how many mirrors that would take?
Circle: We've got effectively unlimited energy! We'll build as many as we need!
Triangle: Stop!
Triangle: How easy is it to release energy from Astrophage?
Square: Really easy! Anyone with the proper light source can do it!
Triangle: So we're about giving every man, woman and child on the entire planet the equivalent of a pocket sized nuclear weapon?
Square: Now THAT is a human extinction event.
Square: Build the space ship!
Circle: Build the space ship!
Triangle: Build the space ship!